NUS Love Story - Part 8

Life was back to 'normal'. It was a silent and 'uneventful' Christmas week for me. A friend had tried to ask me to go to his church but I was too sad even to consider. I only want to spend some time alone, sorting out my thoughts and feelings. It was a difficult week to pass through. I wanted to call Lisa, but I know she has better company. I wanted to call Sally too, but I suppose she does not want to talk to me, at least for that week.

Many people had New Year resolutions. So had I. But will it ever come true? Will it be realized? I prayed silently that it will. When terms resumes in the New Year, I was even more miserable. It was very sad to see Lisa so happy without me. It was even harder when I saw Sally sad and sorrowful. She seems to be avoiding me. I felt so close to them, yet so far. Just too far to even talk.

I decided to call her after the first week. She picked up the call herself.

"To what do I owe this honour?" she said curtly.
"Why do you say this? Can't I just call?"
"I do not wish to talk to you or anything about this. Please don't call me."
"Wait...I really want to say I was sorry. Yes I really do like Lisa but that doesn't mean I don't like you."
"So?"
"Nothing. I also want to tell you that I was very sad at that time so Lisa consoled me. We talked about our relationship. About some problems I was facing."
"Problems? What problems? Please explain."
"I was confused as to whether I like you or your money. I hate to like you for your money but that could be true. But I must say I was very happy with you."
"Huh? Why don't you tell me this? Why can't you discuss this with me before you discuss with her? Am I second in your eyes?"
"No...It’s just that I find that I am better in relating my problems to her. I think she understands me a lot. I just wanted to discuss our problems with her."
"So what? Does she have to kiss your hands?"
"Why are you so possessive?"
"Possessive? Would any girl like another girl to hold her boyfriend's hand, let alone kiss it?"
"She and I were very close once."
"But that does not give you any reason to do that. If you really love only me, then you would not allow that to happen."

She was right. I love Lisa too. And I know she still have some affection for me. It's just that she love Roger more than me. The conversation did not last more than ten minutes. I have explained to Sally what happened. I do not expect her to come back. Perhaps I really like her, not love her. I was miserable for a long time. Life was just so boring. Somehow I do not miss Sally. But I kept thinking of Lisa.

Somehow I just hope that Lisa would know that someone is thinking of her every every hour, every minute. Would the heaven tell her please? She ought to know how I felt for her. But then it was no use. She was happy the way she was.

The examination was approaching fast. I found it quite hard to concentrate on my studies. Ken tried to help me too but each time I would decline his help. I just want to spend my time alone. I would daydream of my own princess whom I will meet someday and we would be happily ever after. It was very silly but that's better than reality. It is only in my dream that I have someone I love and someone who love me too.

Reality is always harder to take, harder to accept. It is also harsher and cruel. Somehow I learnt to believe only in dreams and learnt not to trust reality.I focused my attention on my studies and my dream. The examinations came quickly and passed even quicker. It was not before long that I found myself with so much extra time. I do not need to go back to serve my remaining time in the army like some of my poor classmates. I have a lot of time to myself, too much in fact.

However, the extra time also began make me feel very lonely. My mind began to work out of control again. Images of Lisa and Sally came flashing. I felt so bad and unable to concentrate on anything I do. Luckily it was after the examinations or else I would be in trouble. I tried to get my mind off from such BGR things by looking for a job.

I looked up the newspaper and found a job as a part-time tutor at a famous overseas educational centre. I taught O-level maths and physics. Life began to get better as my mind is off from BGR problems. I taught 5 times a week to 3 classes. It was only at night and I get to have the day free. During the day I would either stay at home or go out with Ken and his girlfriend occasionally. Life was slowly getting better.

One day I reached the centre earlier than usual. The staff who worked during the day has not gone off work yet. I noticed a particular attractive girl. She has long hair and an almond shape face. Her eyes were quite beautiful. Her skin is fair and shiny. Her legs are long and slender. She looks quite good. I approached her and sat at the customer chair. She saw me and started to speak to me.

"Interested in signing for a course?" she asked.
"Ehh...yes." "What level are you in?"
"O-level."

She stared at me for a while. She must be thinking that I am too old to be a O-level student.

"What subjects are you interested to be tutored on?"
"Ehh..A Maths and E. Maths."
"Sorry. The classes are full already. What about other subjects like Physics and Geography?" "Physics please."
"Your name please?"

I told her my name, She looked at me with furrowed eyebrow. She stood up and went over to a filing cabinet and took out a file labelled 'Employee Particulars'. She flipped through and then stopped. She looked at me angrily and walked back to the reception desk.

"Are you trying to be funny? You are an employee aren't you?"
"Well, I am. I only want to talk to you."

She was furious when she heard this. She looked at me sternly and said,

"You want me to complain to the manager?" I was startled.

I did not expect her to be fierce. I apologized to her and left for my lesson quickly, full of embarrassment. The next day I went early like the day before. I wanted to catch a glimpse of her and perhaps say sorry again. She was there at her reception desk as usual. I sat down in front of her.

"Want to take up tuition again?" she asked naughtily.
"Well, this time is different. Now I want to ask give you an apology and I want to treat you to dinner or supper."
She smiled and replied "You have already said sorry yesterday. No, I do not go out with strangers. I am very sorry."

She looked so sweet when she smiled again. She was being diplomatic but then her smile was great. Somehow her reaction was quite different from yesterday.

"You can read my particulars from the employees file if you want. Then we would not be strangers right?" I asked cheekily.

She gave a half-smile and said "No. Thank you very much. I am very flattered. Perhaps some other time."

Her body language gestured me to get lost. I got up from the chair with a bruised ego. She was so nice. She declined me so with style though not so gently. I like her style. I went ahead with my teaching. When lessons is over at nine pm, I bade the students goodbye and packed up my stuff... When I pass the reception, I noticed her sitting there. I walked over to the waiting area.

"Hi, aren't you going back?" I asked.
"I am waiting for you."