Friday, November 7, 2008

NUS Love Story - Part 11

I took her cue and sat down beside Lisa. Yve was still standing beside us.

"Lisa, please don't cry. When you cry you made someone who still loves you very sad too."

Her sobbing reduced to sniffing immediately. She looked up at me with her wet eyes. They are even more beautiful this way. Those sparkling and penetrating eyes.

"You...I don't understand what you mean." she said weakly, trying to think clearly.

"Lisa, listen. After you left me, my heart almost went with you until Sally came along. She filled the void that you created. But still, I cannot forget you. I still think of you and that day when I wanted to discuss my relationship with Sally, she saw us and as you know, want me to choose between you and her. I chose you. I have always love you. I am bad in expressing my feelings and I want you to know now that I love you."

At this she seems to sober herself. She wipes her eyes dry and looked into my eyes. I fixed my gaze on her too. After a while she looked down. I am quite lost at what to say.

"Min, please excuse both of us. I want to have a talk with Lisa." Yve said.

I did not know what Yve wanted to say to Lisa but I went back to my table and sat there, eating the already cold food. I spied Lisa shaking her head a few times and Yve did most of the talking. Finally Yve came over and said

"Min, I tried my best. Go over to her now."
"What did both of you talk about?"
"Ask her. Go now. I'll be waiting here." I went over quickly.

Lisa did not want to look at me in the eyes. She seemed to be avoiding eye contact. She had become shy again.

"Lisa, what did Yve said?"
"She.....she told me about your true feelings towards me. I am quite grateful for that. I appreciate that. Thank you. She also asked me to consider loving you again. I..."

I was grateful to Yve too for communicating my feelings and helping me. I just hope Lisa would just say yes. I prayed silently inside me.

"I don't know what to do. Please give me some time. I need to think this all over again. I really need to. I am quite confused."
"Ok, I will wait for your reply. But remember this Lisa, I have never cheated you and my feelings for you did not change since the first day we met. It had waned a little here when you left but it is getting stronger and stronger. My heart will always follow you wherever you go. You know that."
"I...I know. But...." she cut herself short. We sent her back that night. Lisa was quite weak physically and emotionally. Yve supported her most of the time. I did not dare to hold her because I know if I did I would not let go.

The next day one of Lisa's friend called me.

"Min, Lisa tried to commit suicide. She had an over dosage of sleeping pills. The doctors are trying to cleanse her stomach in GH now. Hurry!"

I took a cab. It was eleven pm. When I reached there, I saw her parents and little sister with her friend that called me outside an emergency room. They looked worried. I went over and joined. I was very frightened the worst would happen. I prayed silently to the heavens to save her. She was just a victim of love. Ohh..please don't let her die.

After half an hour, a few hospital staff came out. One of them spoke to us.

"There is nothing to worry now. She is fine but quite weak. We had cleansed and flushed her stomach and removed the toxins already. By the way, who gave her those sleeping pills?"
"They are actually my wife's. Her doctor prescribed them to her when she complained of insomnia." Lisa's father replied.
"I see. Anyway, there is nothing to worry. She will have to stay inside the hospital for a few days to be observed. After that she can go home."

We were all so relieved. I advised her parents and Lisa's friend to go back home. Her parents were quite tired and old. I walked with her when the nurse pushed her roller bed to a ward. The nurse told me that I can go back too but I preferred to stay. I sat beside her. She was not conscious. I just want to stay a little while longer with her.

Just in case she needs someone there. Just in case I might never get to see her again if such things were to happen again. I realized that how precious time with another person you love is while we are still alive. A policeman came shortly. He was directed by the nurse to Lisa's bed.

"Is this the girl that tried to commit suicide?"
"Yes, but she is sleeping now. Can I help you?"
"I need to take a statement. What is your relation to this girl?"
"I..."

I pondered for a while. I had suddenly forgotten what my relation to her was. At the same time I do not want to make fun of myself in front of the policeman.

"I am her good friend." I replied.
"I see. Can you tell me exactly what you know about the facts of this
case? Wait...your name first, please"

After giving my statement, I stayed on. I spent the night with Lisa. She slept quite peacefully, except that she woke up once and asked for water. I gave it to her and she went back to sleep immediately. The duty nurse there was quite relief that she has one less patient to take care of.

The next day Lisa woke up at ten am. She looked a bit tired but after the nurse brought her to wash up, her face looked radiant again.

"The nurse told me you stayed here whole night." she said slowly and weakly.
"Yes. I just want to be with you."

She was silent for a while. She looked out of the window and stared at the buildings faraway. Suddenly she broke down and cried.

"Lisa, cry your heart out. I won't stop you. If you want to tell me anything, just say. I am here for you."

She sobbed louder. I sat on her bed and held her in my arms. She cried for quite some time. When her crying reduced to sobbing, I asked,

"Why do you do such a silly thing?"
"I just don't know. I just hate myself for being so naive to fall for him again he cheated me again. I just hate myself for being so worthless and stupid. I hate myself. I lost confidence in everything because it seems that it's always in a mess. I just wanted to die and let go of everything."
"No. You should not say that. Do you know if you leave there would be many people who will be very sad? Think about how your parents will react. Think about who will take care of them. Think about you little sister. Who is going to guide her?"
"I don't know"
"But most of all Lisa. If you leave, someone will be very sad because he loves you very much. Don't you see? Without Roger, you will still have me! And why do you make those who love you very much so sad? Your parents love you, and I love you too, very much."
"Isn't it too late that I know now?"
"No Lisa. We can start all over again."
"I....I need time to think over again. I can't answer you right now. I need to think carefully this time."
"I know. I also hope you don't foul up your next relationship. Whether with me or not. I will wait for you reply."

I don't know if what I said was correct. She started sobbing again. After a while, she stopped. She kept quiet for a long time. A short while later, her parents came to visit her. I had stopped my teaching temporary to be with her. Lisa also had a re-paper in a CS subject. We revised together in the hospital initially until she became fit enough to leave the place.

I went to her place to continue our preparation for our re-paper. Ken came to help once in a while. After every 'revision' day, I would stay for dinner. I think I had built a good rapport with her parents. Roger did not call her again. Perhaps Roger had made used of that night as a reason to dump her again. Yve was very supportive. She encouraged me and taught me how to win Lisa heart again, only this time it is harder.

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