NUS LOVE STORY - PART 2

When it finally did about ten minutes later she said, "My first boyfriend went after me when we were in college and after he got me, he broke off with his girlfriend. I felt bad about it all. He was very good looking, intelligent and popular. He was the vice-captain of the school rugger team."

"That was 2 years ago, first year in JC. We loved one another very much until one day he changed. He found another girlfriend; a rich man's daughter. He just left me without any word. I called him many times and pleaded with him to come back but to no avail. The worse thing is that I had already given him my virginity. I resigned to my fate and very sad after that. I could not come to terms with reality then. We were so in love and suddenly he changed so fast."

"I was miserable for a long time. I cried myself to sleep many nights and whenever I dreamt of him, I would pick up the phone and call him, only to put down the receiver when I realized that it's only a dream. I could not eat proper meals and my studies suffered. I was even more jealous whenever I saw him with his new girl. They walked past me without even saying 'Hi'. I was very troubled and sad. I almost failed my promos because of that. "I winced at these words.

They hit me like a stone out of the blue. I didn't imagine all this could have happened. She went on.

"The second one came around February; just before Chinese New Year He is different. He was not handsome nor the active type. He is a mugger but he has a heart of gold. He didn't know much about my previous relationship with my first boyfriend. He only knew that we broke off. I didn't want to tell him much about my previous relationship. I didn't like him at first."

"He sent me back from school almost everyday. He brought me my first flowers we ignored all the gossips that was going on about us. We were very happy together. We would spend the day doing tutorial or go to the nearby park. He would then send me home just in time for dinner. Life was simple and sweet. I loved him very much."

"One day he came to me at the beginning of first lesson and asked me this question: Did you give your virginity to him? I was shocked beyond words. I wondered how he knew. He told me later that the rumor said it. I didn't want to keep him in the dark anymore. I told him the truth after lessons. He only said these three words: You cheated me. I can sense the burning anger and sadness inside him. He never speaks to me after that. My world just collapse into pieces. I don't blame him at all. I didn't know what to do. After so long of learning to love him I just lost him like that. I blame myself for being so stupid and for covering up the truth. I had thought that everything would be fine and happy. But who knows? Had I told him earlier things might be different. I almost thought of committing suicide until a friend stopped me and talked to me for almost 3 hours on top of the school building." I pitied her.

Tears formed in my eyes. I did not know what to do. I just hope that all these were not real. I just hope that this would not happen to the girl I love... She continued, with eyes staring straight into the sea while she narrated.

"Prelims came and I fared badly. I worked very hard for the next one and a half months luckily I did ok for A levels."

"While waiting for results, I worked in an accounting firm. The office boy there took fancy on me. He was awaiting his time to be enlisted. He was 1 year my junior. He was only a O level holder but he was quite handsome with his boyish look. I like him but I know that there is no future with us. I did not let him know I was working temporary there. I also did not let him know I am waiting for A level result because I am afraid to make him feel inferior nor that I am showing off."

"He bought lunch for me although I refused. He would say that he had already bought it and asked me not to waste his hard earned money. He sent me flowers every week to my house and occasionally small presents he made himself. Dad was furious when he knew but he couldn't do anything. The boy was persistent. I began to like him slowly. I only went out with him a month just before his March enlistment."

"He would take me to those bowling alleys and ice skating ring. He used his hard earned money to make me happy. I appreciated that and asked him not to do it but he said it's his money and it's up to him how he spends it. He was a bit stubborn."

"Enlistment day came and I was the only one to send him to in. Before he left he said: Wait for me. When I come out I will marry you."

"My heart was overjoyed. For the first time in my life a guy had proposed to me. I felt so assured of the future and for the first time felt confident about relationship. After his 3 weeks confinement we went out every weekend. I would tease him about his botak head and he would tease me saying I look prettier and prettier. We would go to his house and spend hours relating about my work and his army stories."

"When I received the letter from NUS that I was given a place in Comp Science, I was overjoyed. I told him the Tuesday night he called me. His tone changed immediately. I can sense something was wrong. He was very quiet after that and we didn't speak much. Before we hanged up he said: "Wait for me". I was puzzled but I didn't have the chance to ask him."

"That night, about three AM someone came and knocked on our door. Dad opened it. I can hear some argument and my name were mentioned. I got up and was shocked to see him at the door. I asked him why he had come. He just said that his PC gave permission for everyone to have a night off. I pleaded with dad to let us go down to the playground to talk. Dad took pity on us and relented."

"He held my hand firmly all the way. He kept saying that he love me. I already knew that though. I assured him I love him too but he seems not convinced. I decided to make love to him that night in the large and dark playground at three plus am. I did all I can to assure him of my love for him. The whole neighborhood was deserted. About half an hour after we made love, the chilling breeze blew and he held me in his arms.. I felt safe and sleepy."

"I slept in his arms in the playground. Suddenly I was awaken by shouting. I saw a few soldiers running towards him. He looked worried and said: "Sorry Lisa, I have to go. I know we cannot be together after you go to university but I know I did is worth it. Tonight is worth it all the trouble. I will not forget tonight."

"I wasn't before long I knew he had AWOLed to see me. He had beaten up the guards at his camp and stole a military vehicle out. I did not know how he does it. I only know why. One of the guard was seriously injured when he refused to let my boyfriend come out. Because of the multiple charges, he was sentenced to three years confinement in detention barracks. I was so moved by his stupidity and sincerity. "

"I decided to give up my university education for him. I visited him to tell him my decision. He was happy but he said that education to me is more important than him. He wanted to me to continue study but I told him I wanted to earn money and wait for him to get out and we will then get married. His last word to me was: "Always remember me"."

"He died the next day. He had committed suicide in the detention barracks. I cried for many days. His parents blamed me for their son's death. I felt remorse but I did not know how to pay them back their only son. I visited them every week as they are well into their pension age. I cleaned their house and kept them company. I wore black and white since then. It was also then that I learnt they had a stepdaughter studying in science too."

"Min, it's not that I do not like you. I love you very much. I just feel so insecure and I have no confidence in relationship anymore. Three failed relationships in a mere two years just make me afraid to go into the fourth one. Can't you see I have no more confidence? I was cheated by the first one."

"The second one was cheated by me. And the third one died for me. Tell me, what will you do if the fourth one comes? I had told myself never to enter into another relationship until I graduate. My friends advised me that too. But you came along. I was so reluctant but I am a human being as well. I feel love, I need to beloved, I need to love too. Can you see? I pity easily, and I love easily too."

By now her words are broken with sobbing.